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After Day 4 Of Working On Me.

Hey guys!

Here’s your update on how I did yesterday in terms of developing myself…

Yesterday I accomplished 9 things toward trying to make me be myself at my best!

 

 


 

1.) I weighed myself in the morning.

2.) I ate a nice, satisfying, low calorie breakfast.

3.) I drank a full bottle of water.

4.) I uploaded a photo to Instagram! This one is exciting because I have accumulated SO many photos in my life but haven’t really done anything much with them – even on my Instagram I only have 20 photos uploaded! It is a photo of my kitten Kepler 🙂 I think this is definitely a step toward expressing my personal self and little things like this will help me develop into a healthy version of me for sure 🙂

5.) Drank another bottle of water.

6.) Drank ANOTHER bottle of water.

7.) Put a load of laundry in the washing machine and switched it on.

8.) Hung up a SH*T load of laundry! I had 4 shopping bags FULL of laundry needing to be hung up – with another being washed and that finished being washed before I had finished hanging up the laundry… I just really let this pile up due to my mental health, so this was definitely a challenge.

9.) Drank another bottle of water (totalling 2.4 litres). I know this one is boring to you guys but I’m really proud that I haven’t slipped yet with keeping my water intake as 1.8 litres or more each day, since the first day I started working on myself. I used to despise water so even though it’s such a basic thing, I’m proud of myself for trying this hard!


 

That’s all! I have no idea how today is going to go because today my fiancé is home, and when my mental health is bad I always find it much, much more difficult to do anything at all when he is at home. I think maybe it takes more energy to do things when someone else is watching or hearing you doing it? Well, I think that’s definitely the case for me at least!

Regardless, my hopes are that I achieve drinking my 4 bottles of water today, taking my weight today, having a calorie controlled breakfast, having a calorie controlled lunch, have a calorie controlled dinner, take a bath, do a face mask, henna my ends, hang up another load of laundry, pick up my new glasses, starting on and making very good progress on my Differential Equations assignment, buy some protective accessories for my new phone, post another Instagram picture, and quite frankly that sounds like an awful lot for the day!

I know for some people it would be super basic, but man, I’m not well! I wish I could easily do more than that, but just the thought of doing all of those things today is bringing on a headache, genuinely.

Maybe I could also put my pile of clothes away into my drawers, because that’s also been really bothering me.

So, those will be my focuses for today. Wish me luck! I will update you all tomorrow as per usual 🙂

Storm

 

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After Day 3 Of Working On Me

Hey guys!

Here’s my daily update of how working on me went yesterday…

Yesterday I only achieved a measly 6 things toward me developing myself – and 4 of them were just drinking water! Super boring, so I’ll just go over what I did quickly so I can keep my momentum up for today:


1.) I weighed myself in the morning! This daily habit I feel has kept me really motivated and has kept me feeling a bit more put-together. It’s the little things that help!

2.) I drank a full 600ml bottle of water. Again, this is one habit that I’ve kept all of these days and it’s something I’m actually pretty proud of. Some people find it hard to drink water, but not me!

3.) I put on a load of laundry in the washing machine. This has always been “my” job, and is something I’ve fallen really behind on recently because of my poor brain being unwell. It hasn’t had a massive impact on me really because I mostly stay at home in pyjamas anyway, but my partner has really been needing some clothes! Doing this really helped me feel useful.

4.) Drank another bottle of water (600ml).

5.) Drank another bottle of water (600ml).

6.) Drank another bottle of water (600ml).


 

Super boring yesterday – sorry! I’m trying my best though which is what matters, so if my best was to just drink a bunch of water then so be it! That’s a bunch of water more than someone not trying would have had!

Hopefully today I’ll to better – I was out of bed today 4 hours earlier than I was yesterday, and also started writing this blog post around 4 hours earlier.

Here’s to hoping that the day brings lots of enjoyment, excitement, productivity, fun, happiness and health.

Storm

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After Day 2 Of Working On Me

Hey guys!

Yesterday I did 10 things that I feel kept me moving forward in terms of self development.

Again, please don’t judge me guys! I know that for some of you, some of these things are super basic but please understand that for some people, like me, these things are BIG achievements and are steps toward us becoming us at our best.

 

 


 

1.) Again, I weighed myself first thing in the morning. This is a step toward staying disciplined and having some sort of a routine, and is also a step toward caring about my health.

2.) I thoroughly washed our my kitten Kepler’s food bowl and gave him a nice meal, and also gave him lots of dry food and his cat treats. This was a step toward being more compassionate and putting others before myself (this was the second thing I did in my day) which can be really hard to do when you’re so absorbed in your own bad mental health.

3.) I drank one of my 600ml bottles of water! Sticking to this routine is another step toward improving my self-discipline and having any sort of routine is very healthy for us fours.

4.) I had a mahoosive, delicious plate of heated up leftover spaghetti bolognese for breakfast. Now I know that for some of you, you’ll be like, how is that an achievement though? Isn’t that a BAD thing? Again, for people with crap mental health, just HAVING breakfast routinely is an achievement – let alone a nutritious, tasty breakfast that they heated up and ate hot.

5.) I cut my fringe! I’m super excited and happy about this one. All throughout the day I found myself getting very, very angry at constantly having hair in my face, so I thought “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!” I pulled all my hair back into a nice high ponytail to be sure that I wouldn’t cut any of my long hair that I’m trying to grow, and then I sort of put my hand on my hair and pushed forward toward my face, to get all of that irritating loose hair in my face so I could clearly see what I was dealing with. Once I thoroughly did that, I put any longer hair that I wanted to grow out of the way and behind my ears, and then separated the section which I knew I actually wanted to be part of my fringe. I got myself a good mirror and just started cutting away. I just cut it until it was pretty short honestly, but still sort of long… I can’t explain but you’ll be able to see in the picture. I’m SO happy about this!

6.) I got myself ready to go out and went into Uni. A super big deal for me, this one was really difficult!

7.) At Uni I went to a wearable electronics optional workshop, wear I made a little circuit with 3 LED’s that respond to vibration! My idea was to put the circuit in some sort of chunky bracelet or wristband, and that the LED’s would light up in response to a musician moving their wrist to play an instrument. Although I was really rushed to make the circuit, I’m proud that I made it. It was originally to have 5 LED’s but I just didn’t have the time to solder the last 2 on, and also didn’t have time to actually program the circuit to light up in any sort of sequence so it doesn’t really work as it is, but it does work, if that makes sense?

8.) I drank another bottle of water! Yay for health! Yay for routine! Yay for self-discipline!

9.) I plucked my brows. Another thing I’m really chuffed about. It had been a while since I had last plucked my brows and they are so much prettier now!

10.) I drank another bottle of water! So same as yesterday, I had 3 bottles altogether making 1.8 litres. I’m so glad that I’ve been able to keep up this little routine so far because it is really difficult for me.


 

That’s it for yesterday! I know for some of you it will be hard to see but I have achieved a lot in the past two days. I went from someone that felt disgusting, fed up of life, extremely depressed, having low self-worth and low self-esteem to someone that actually feels pretty, and feels like they deserve to be pretty and look decent enough to go out into the world, and deserve to have their health cared for… I feel much less depressed already although I still have a super long way to go to climb up the levels of self-development that four’s on the Enneagram have.

Tomorrow I will update you all on what I achieved today. I don’t expect much though because it is already 13:11 and I haven’t done anything yet! I will do my best though 🙂

Storm

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After Day 1 Of Working On Me

Hey guys!

Just a super quick morning update on how day 1 of focussing on working on me went!

The progress I made may seem really small, but to me the things I did were HUGE so please respect that what’s easy, unimportant and insignificant to some may be difficult, super important and very significant to others.

 


  1. I took my weight in the morning. This was my first step yesterday in getting back into a healthy routine and in being disciplined, which is super important to the health of type 4’s on the Enneagram. It was also the first step in focussing again on my health and wellbeing.
  2. Washing my hands with a beautiful Lush soap (Golden Pear) instead of a cheap hand soap. I have a strange difficulty with using Lush products because of my mental health, so ALLOWING myself to use such a beautiful Lush product for an action we do maybe 10 times a day means a lot in terms of my personal growth and in starting to love myself more.
  3. I drank a bottle of water before breakfast. Again, practising routine, discipline, self-care and focussing on my health.
  4. I had a hot, cooked, proper, fairly balanced, low calorie breakfast. My breakfast was 2 pieces of vegan bacon rashers, cooked with just a hot frying pan and dripping in a few drops of water every now and then, and a third of a tin of baked beans. This step was pretty huge for me as I’ve become somewhat un-functional due to my mental health recently, so to again shift my focus and attention toward self-care, my health and my happiness was huge.
  5. I made myself a tasty, calorie controlled coffee. Again, shifting my focus toward self-care.
  6. I made myself a lovely, hot, big bath using Lush’s Puddy Holly Bubbleroon. I got this bath product as a gift on Christmas day from my fiance, and simply haven’t allowed myself to dedicate the energy, time or enjoyment toward taking a bath using this product since then. Another action toward developing my self-love and self-care.
  7. I took the bath and did loads of little pampering things while I did! I washed my hair with the Godiva shampoo bar from Lush, conditioned my hair with TRESemme’s Remoisturising Conditioner, detangled my hair with my fingers and put my hair up in a shower cap with the conditioner still in, exfoliated my face using the Bath Essentials Exfoliating Gloves from Tesco and added a bit of Prince Charming Shower Cream onto the gloves so I could clean my face at the same time, I exfoliated my body with Lush’s The Rough With The Smooth Shower Scrub, shaved, brushed my teeth, washed my body with the Prince Charming Shower Cream from Lush using a shower pouf, moisturised my body with Lush’s Christingle Body Conditioner and rinsed everything off. Phew! For me, all of that was a MASSIVE ACHIEVEMENT. I felt so, so clean and fresh and amazing afterwards. This was a massive step toward developing my self-love and self-care, and in feeling more confident about myself. It definitely instantly raised my self esteem.
  8. I drank another bottle of water! Yay for paying attention to your health, having discipline and following routine 🙂
  9. I had a nice, hot, sort-of balanced, calorie limited lunch. I made myself some sort of tasty vegan burger from Sainsbury’s (the Sweet Potato, Quinoa & Lentil Burger) with a couple of sun dried tomatoes in olive oil on the side. SO tasty. Another step toward self-care and paying attention to my health.
  10. I used some nail clippers to clip down all of my nails. My nails have been needing clipping for a really long time so this one was super satisfying. I hate having long nails because they always tear and I just find them really dirty and uncomfortable and gross. I like them JUST below the finger itself.
  11. I made myself another tasty, calorie limited coffee.
  12. I cleaned off all the old nail polish and any residue using some nail polish remover.
  13. I PAINTED MY NAILS! This step has made me so happy you guys have no idea. I took my time and painted them really, really nicely and I absolutely love them so, so much. I used the OPI ‘It’s A Piazza Cake’ nail lacquer. It’s basically an orange, reddy, dark, Autumnal, warm colour. I think it might be my favourite colour in the world. It is cosy, vibrant, beautiful, sexy, interesting, and I think it’s a colour that I associate with all seasons (the pumpkins, spices , lights and leaves of Autumn, the spices, food and gingerbread of Winter, the life and flowers of spring and the sunsets, tropical fruits, holidays and warmth of Summer). It’s a beautiful colour. This was a really forward moving step in my self-development.
  14. I drank ANOTHER bottle of water! These bottles are 600ml BTW, so this meant a total of 1.8 litres for yesterday. I know, not the MOST ideal, but I really stayed disciplined, focussed on my health and stuck to routine much better than I previously would have.

 

That’s all guys! I will be trying to work on myself today also, and will keep track of the steps I take toward me being the best version of myself and hopefully will update you all again tomorrow. I definitely feel that honestly, in just one day, I blossomed as a four so much 🙂

Storm

 

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Blossoming As A Type 4.

Hey guys!

So, I recently discovered that using Enneagram typology, I am a 4w5. I’ve already learnt a lot about this type and after learning about the different levels of healthiness of my Enneagram type, I decided to write a blog post on blossoming as a type 4 as soon as I could.

I believe I’m at level 7 on the four’s levels of development scale.

I think if I were on any level below a 7, I would basically feel much worse than I do now (although I do resonate a lot with level 8 too). In fact, I definitely feel everything written that a level 8 feels, apart from I don’t feel that I am closed off to receiving help – which I think is the biggest distinction between a level 7 and a level 8 in my opinion. In fact, I absolutely love being helped and actively ask for help often, and although sometimes it is difficult to receive it, I’m always happy and grateful once I have. Definitely not a level 9 at the moment though – I think that level is reserved for the lowest of the low points I experience in my life (such as during my foundation year at my first University…) Although, I definitely do experience the odd emotional breakdown every now and then!

I think if I were on any level above a 7, I’d definitely be a lot more expressive than I am now, although I do relate a LOT with level 5, and I think a level 5 is basically me on a good day!

A level 7 resonates with me most because it is a state where chaos leads to one disallowing themselves from basically doing anything that they enjoy, leads to anger toward oneself, leads to depression and isolation… It’s just basically a sort of reactionary state to being in a bad situation.

My bad situation? Well, I’m just not doing great at Uni and am just generally really not very happy with my life and how it’s going at all. It could be worse, but it certainly could be quite a bit better.

So, I want to blossom.

What is it to blossom?

Apparently, according to the Google search result for “define blossom”, it means to “mature or develop in a promising or healthy way.” Synonyms are develop, grow, mature, progress, evolve, burst forth, come to fruition, flourish, thrive, get on well, prosper, succeed, be successful, make headway, bloom, burgeon and go great guns… Antonyms are fade and fail.

Basically, I’m pretty bored and fed up of being a level 7. I mean, it’s okay, but there is a lot more out there for me to experience and I know that’s the person I want to be.

I know I probably seem to be taking the Enneagram too literally, or seem obsessive, or maybe it seems like I’m just using this as another procrastination tactic.

It isn’t that I’m taking the Enneagram literally, rather that it has made me feel quite validated and I definitely resonate with this typology system better than the MBTI (it took 4 tests before I got the same result twice for MBTI, and only 2 for Enneagram).

I’m not obsessive about the Enneagram itself – rather about the prospect of being happy, healthy and successful.

I’m not using this to procrastinate, this is something I need to do so that I will find being productive easier and feel less need to procrastinate altogether.

So, I’m really excited about this. I’m excited about working on me. I work on me a lot to be fair, but in a much less direct way than I intend to now do. This should be priority – type 4’s who are on the extreme end of level 9 are LIKELY to commit suicide! I mean, what’s more important than preventing that? I need to climb this development ladder and FAST.

I’m scared of shifting my focus – scared that my future will somehow fall apart, scared that it will lead to me being unproductive, scared that it won’t work, scared that it will be a waste of time, scared that it is the wrong decision, scared that this will just lead me into an even deeper depression, scared that it might go right and I might actually end up being happy through doing this… That’s the scariest thought of all! It means letting go of who I am, who I have been, and allowing myself to live the life I’ve always wanted. That’s scary when you feel like you’re not good enough to live that life.

So, to start my blossoming, I’m going to get myself some routine going. I’ve heard nothing but good things about fours having a good routine to get them stuck into the reality of daily life. I’m not going to go nuts with a routine, but I’ll just give myself the structure that I think I actually need to be happiest.

I also really need to stay on top of my studies. I NEED to stay grounded in the reality that I’ve created for myself, but without TRAPPING myself! I need to be studying, hard, and doing the work I set for myself and meeting those expectations every single day. I need to be kind to myself and give myself realistic expectations and allow myself time to just be free, but sticking to those expectations is essential to me being happy and loving myself.

I need to begin taking care of myself and making me feel good about myself. I need to take my long Lush baths, do my hair and makeup, use my perfumes, take care in what clothes and jewellery I wear, taking photos of myself and being proud of who I am and of how I represent myself with how I look.

I NEED TO BE FEARLESS AND MAKE TIME TO DO THE THINGS THAT I ENJOY! I need to allow myself to READ my books, to write my blog posts, to edit my photos, to paint my pictures, to learn my instruments, to sing my songs, TO CREATE. I NEED TO MAKE TIME EVERYDAY TO BE CREATIVE! How else am I going to express myself? I NEED THIS. I think this will absolutely bring me the most joy in my life. I need this so, so much.

I’m going to leave it there, because I think that amount of focus is the right amount to allow me to thrive.

This is, of course, before the fact – so I will do my best to update ya’ll on my progress at a later time to say how it’s all going.

Thanks for reading,

Storm

 

 

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My Enneagram Type

Hey guys!

So, my older sister has been interested in the Enneagram recently, so I’ve decided to try taking some tests to see what my Enneagram type is at the present.

I have taken personality typing tests before – but the only up-to-date result I have is that I am an INFP from the MBTI personality testing system.

So, here it goes!

I begin by searching “Enneagram test” into google.co.uk…

I click on the first result to take my first Enneagram test! I answer any and all questions as honestly and PRESENTLY as I possibly can. What I mean by this is that I answer the questions as though the scenario in question was just about to occur in a moment, rather than depending on memories of experiences to answer the questions. This gives a result that is accurate and applicable to who I am today, versus a result based on either my image of who I am or on who I have been in the past 🙂

The first google result is eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test.

It contains two online Enneagram tests, so I will take both 🙂

Okay, so after taking the first test, the results believe me to be a type 4 – more specifically a 4w5.

The second test believes me to be a type 4 too, also with a 4w5 wing, of the self-preservation variant.

Considering that both tests use completely different methods (the first had a page of 9 questions, each representing an Enneagram type, with 3 possible answers (yes, no or partly) for each – there were 14 pages altogether and after a while the questions would lessen as some types would be eliminated (by the 14th page I had only 5 questions per page left) and the second had 50-something pairs of statements, which a scale of 7 options to which you rate the pair of statements), I think it is safe to say that my result for the Enneagram is fairly conclusively a 4w5. I think it would be very unlikely for anything but this result to be true given the amount of possibilities that were available to me for both tests, and getting the exact same result using two different systems.

So, that’s it! I’m a 4w5. An INFP 4w5. Awesome.

It’s always fun to gather more information about yourself 🙂

I will do more personality typing tests so that I have more results besides simply the INFP result and the 4w5 result. I’ll also get my partner to do the second test to see how similar a result he gets to me (we both got INFP-T on the MBTI test, so I’m very curious to see what he gets for this test!) I honestly don’t do tests like these often though because they take me a very long time to do and take a lot of energy and concentration out of me, so it isn’t likely that I’ll do any more tests very very soon. For now I’m pretty content with the personality typing results that I do have.

Below is a mosaic of images from my test taking, followed by the two images of my results 🙂

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– Storm

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10 Reasons Why Hufflepuffs Are Epic.

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Hey guys! I’ve been really into Harry Potter recently, so I came up with this post. I hope you enjoy!


  1. Us Hufflepuffs appreciate the smaller, more ignored things in life. We take time to enjoy the view, we notice the beauty in the little wild flowers that we walk by on a daily basis, we stop to move (and hence, save from being trodden on) innocent slugs that we see in the middle of the pavement… Sure, maybe we don’t always put the apparently “important” things in the world first, but I think we have an inner wisdom that tells us what is TRULY important 🙂
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  2. We are a very mysterious and underestimated house! The dark horses in the running. No-one is really fully sure of what our motives or skills are, because we conceal them so well 😉 We also hate to boast and to be in the spotlight! It isn’t that we don’t HAVE any motives and skills other than, well, being kind. It’s just that kindness is at the forefront of our minds the majority of the time. It could be said that I myself am ambitious, will stand up for what is right and I would like to think that I’m pretty wise! We can truly surprise you (and even ourselves) with our talents when we feel it appropriate to do so!
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  3. We have an aptitude for the care of animals and plants – (magical creatures and herbology.) No other Hogwarts house is as good with caring for other forms of life as we are, and it is something we really pride ourselves on! Animals and plants keep us healthy and share this planet with us, and us Hufflepuffs believe that they are incredibly important and warrant out respect (both inside and outside of the classroom.)
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  4. We really like to keep the peace, and will only be purposefully rude if we are very wound-up. Us Hufflepuffs like to think before we speak, and refuse to become involved in meaningless arguments! We prefer to be neutral, objective, observant spectators, and to analyse all the angles to each side of an argument. We like to find compromise where available. Hufflepuffs are, however, very just – meaning that we can be extremely opinionated on what is the right course of action, and will definitely stand up to anything we consider to be morally/ethically “wrong”. We are always careful to not upset others when it isn’t necessary to do so, and I think that makes us pretty epic 🙂
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  5. Hufflepuffs are pretty damn loyal when it comes down to it. We are extremely kind, and always do our best to make those we care about, happy. All the Hogwarts houses have loyal traits, but none like Hufflepuff. We will not discriminate, and are loyal intuitively to those who have shown us trust, kindness and who have made us happy. Once we have committed ourselves to someone, we will do our best to remain loving, kind and true to them – even if they have heavily let us down in the past!
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  6. We are very, very patient in comparison to the other Hogwarts houses, and will happily wait for our time to come to have glory. In general, we are in no particular rush to achieve big things in our lives, and believe that one cannot make anything happen any quicker than the time that it is ready to do so. That isn’t to say that we aren’t at all ambitious, because we are! We simply prefer to try and enjoy the journey, rather than fighting to get to the finishing line.
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  7. Us Hufflepuffs are unapologetically honest and true. We do not purposely conceal any truths about our beliefs, and you can always be sure of exactly who you’re dealing with when it comes to us lot. We do not conform to norms, and will not be “kind” or “polite” just to uphold an outward appearance of being a nice person! We are still kind, but you can rest assured that we are being so without any ulterior motives.
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  8. We love happiness, life and sunshine! No other house enjoys to simply be happy as much as us guys and girls do. Even our common room is almost perpetually sunny, warm and cosy, and is filled with all sorts of interesting plants. The view from our common room is of fresh green grass and beautifully bright dandelions. Our house colours of yellow and black represent fields of bright, yellow, sunny wheat growing in dark earth. Yellow itself is also such a bright and cheerful colour – often used to represent the mood happiness. There are no harsh lines in our common room – all the doors and windows are circular shaped – as is the shape of the common room itself! The Hufflepuff common room truly is a happy little den, where everyone can feel safe.
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  9. We, by far, have the most cuddly emblematic animal! We are represented by the adorable badger, a very underestimated animal! Don’t let their adorable, cuddliness fool you – if you cross a badger, they’ll defend themselves and their loved ones with their life! I’m proud to be represented by the badger 😀
    badger
  10. We are very hard workers, and are also extremely determined. We like to challenge ourselves, so we will often pursuit things in life that we aren’t naturally very good at, and will continue working at those things until we are. For example, I believe I was one of two Hufflepuffs in my classes at college, and we definitely found studying classes such as Mathematics, Advanced Mathematics, Physics and Statistics more difficult than our classmates. However, by the end of the year I was receiving results in my exams that exceeded those of the majority of my classmates – primarily in Statistics but also in Physics. Those results were purely due to a lot of studying, reading and hard work. Us Hufflepuffs can achieve anything that we set our mind to!
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    So, that’s it from me today! Thank you for reading – I know I wrote quite a lot, I’m very passionate about being a Hufflepuff recently…

    I hope you enjoyed my 10 reasons why Hufflepuffs are epic!

    – Storm