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After Day 6 Of Working On Me.

Hey guys!

Yesterday I managed to achieve 10 things toward developing myself into a healthy version of me!

 

 


 

1.) I took my weight! This has literally just become routing by this point 🙂

2.) Made myself a proper, good breakfast consisting of cereal, a coffee and a bottle of water.

3.) I drank a bottle of water! Again, standard routine by this point!

4.) I put a load of laundry on in the washing machine.

5.) I hung up lots of wet laundry to dry.

6.) THIS is the exciting one of the day guys. I always seem to have one thing that I’m pretty chuffed about and excited about. So basically, I had been watching the Kon Mari method on Netflix and so I decided to try it myself. I washed all of me and my partner’s clothes and piled them all into separate piles on the bed, and proceeded to alternate picking one item to go into the keep pile, one to go into the discard pile (depending on whether the item truly sparked joy or not). Our aim was a 50% reduction in our clothes, so this method worked really nicely! At the end, we allowed our imperfect selves to grab anything we REALLY wanted from the discard pile, so I think we probably got rid of around 40% of our clothes at the end. After doing this, me and my fiancé ended up putting away SOME of my clothes using the Kon Mari way (so that we could fit as many clothes into our storage areas as possible etc), but I basically ended up with a massive pile of clothes on top of my dressing table ever since that Kon Mari session that never ended up being put away. Finally, yesterday me and my partner put ALL MY CLOTHES AWAY IN THE KON MARI FASHION! I mean, I’m so happy I could legit cry about this achievement. I sat there for probably 4 hours straight folding and putting away my clothes. The photo is just a sample which is the drawer with all my tops inside and a few jumpers.

7.) I drank another bottle of water.

8.) I uploaded another picture onto Instagram. This time it was just a screen shot of my phone’s background, because I think one’s phone background really showcases a lot about an individual! It also allowed me to give a moment to express my appreciation about my fiancé buying me the phone 🙂

9.) I drank another bottle of water.

10.) I drank my final bottle of water (adding up to 2.4 litres in total for the day).


 

Thank you so much for reading!

Today I hope that I will do some studying, henna my ends, take a bath, upload another picture on Instagram, clean my mirrors and windows and any hard surfaces and that’s about it.

For Instagram, I think I might start aiming to upload photos of myself actually DOING things, rather than just selfies or photos that don’t have me in them at all… I think photos of people actually doing things kinda shows a little window into that person’s life and are really personally expressive!

I will update you all tomorrow to show you what I got up to doing today 🙂

Storm

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After Day 5 Of Working On Me

Hey guys!

Yesterday I achieved just 7 things toward developing myself as a type 4 on the Enneagram.

Here are the things I achieved:

 

 


 

1.) I weighed myself.

2.) I drank a bottle of water.

3.) I picked up my new glasses! So excited about this one. My new glasses are absolutely perfect for me – they are the perfect shape on my face and make my face look lifted and cute and interesting (a cat eye sort of shape), and they are a gorgeous warm green colour (which brings out the colour of my eyes beautifully. They also have an anti-glare coating on them to help me see a bit better when light reflects off of things in the room. I also managed to get them for under £50 (which is the price of the cheapest glasses that Boots Opticians do) which I was happy about because I changed from Boots to Specsavers to save myself some money. They’re a really beautiful subtle frame and don’t overwhelm my soft facial features and tones at all. They just absolutely couldn’t be more perfect, and I’m so happy with them!

4.) I drank a bottle of water.

5.) I drank another bottle of water…

6.) I used a Lush face mask! First I washed my hands super thoroughly, and I then scrubbed my face using a pair of exfoliating gloves and the Bouncy Bunny Shower Jelly from Lush for 90 seconds. I rinsed my face thoroughly and then applied the Rosy Cheeks Fresh Face Mask from Lush thickly enough for there to be SOME opaque areas (particularly on problem areas like my nose). I left the mask on for 12 minutes and 30 seconds, and then rinsed it off thoroughly. This mask was really brightening and helps to clean the face and soften out any discolouration, but was also very drying.  Anyway, I really enjoyed pampering myself and using some of my Lush!

7.) I drank another final bottle of water.


 

Yesterday wasn’t as productive as I had hoped it to be because, well, I think picking up my glasses took a lot of energy and time out of my day honestly. Today should be a bit different I hope 🙂 We will see.

Thanks,

Storm

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After Day 4 Of Working On Me.

Hey guys!

Here’s your update on how I did yesterday in terms of developing myself…

Yesterday I accomplished 9 things toward trying to make me be myself at my best!

 

 


 

1.) I weighed myself in the morning.

2.) I ate a nice, satisfying, low calorie breakfast.

3.) I drank a full bottle of water.

4.) I uploaded a photo to Instagram! This one is exciting because I have accumulated SO many photos in my life but haven’t really done anything much with them – even on my Instagram I only have 20 photos uploaded! It is a photo of my kitten Kepler 🙂 I think this is definitely a step toward expressing my personal self and little things like this will help me develop into a healthy version of me for sure 🙂

5.) Drank another bottle of water.

6.) Drank ANOTHER bottle of water.

7.) Put a load of laundry in the washing machine and switched it on.

8.) Hung up a SH*T load of laundry! I had 4 shopping bags FULL of laundry needing to be hung up – with another being washed and that finished being washed before I had finished hanging up the laundry… I just really let this pile up due to my mental health, so this was definitely a challenge.

9.) Drank another bottle of water (totalling 2.4 litres). I know this one is boring to you guys but I’m really proud that I haven’t slipped yet with keeping my water intake as 1.8 litres or more each day, since the first day I started working on myself. I used to despise water so even though it’s such a basic thing, I’m proud of myself for trying this hard!


 

That’s all! I have no idea how today is going to go because today my fiancé is home, and when my mental health is bad I always find it much, much more difficult to do anything at all when he is at home. I think maybe it takes more energy to do things when someone else is watching or hearing you doing it? Well, I think that’s definitely the case for me at least!

Regardless, my hopes are that I achieve drinking my 4 bottles of water today, taking my weight today, having a calorie controlled breakfast, having a calorie controlled lunch, have a calorie controlled dinner, take a bath, do a face mask, henna my ends, hang up another load of laundry, pick up my new glasses, starting on and making very good progress on my Differential Equations assignment, buy some protective accessories for my new phone, post another Instagram picture, and quite frankly that sounds like an awful lot for the day!

I know for some people it would be super basic, but man, I’m not well! I wish I could easily do more than that, but just the thought of doing all of those things today is bringing on a headache, genuinely.

Maybe I could also put my pile of clothes away into my drawers, because that’s also been really bothering me.

So, those will be my focuses for today. Wish me luck! I will update you all tomorrow as per usual 🙂

Storm

 

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After Day 3 Of Working On Me

Hey guys!

Here’s my daily update of how working on me went yesterday…

Yesterday I only achieved a measly 6 things toward me developing myself – and 4 of them were just drinking water! Super boring, so I’ll just go over what I did quickly so I can keep my momentum up for today:


1.) I weighed myself in the morning! This daily habit I feel has kept me really motivated and has kept me feeling a bit more put-together. It’s the little things that help!

2.) I drank a full 600ml bottle of water. Again, this is one habit that I’ve kept all of these days and it’s something I’m actually pretty proud of. Some people find it hard to drink water, but not me!

3.) I put on a load of laundry in the washing machine. This has always been “my” job, and is something I’ve fallen really behind on recently because of my poor brain being unwell. It hasn’t had a massive impact on me really because I mostly stay at home in pyjamas anyway, but my partner has really been needing some clothes! Doing this really helped me feel useful.

4.) Drank another bottle of water (600ml).

5.) Drank another bottle of water (600ml).

6.) Drank another bottle of water (600ml).


 

Super boring yesterday – sorry! I’m trying my best though which is what matters, so if my best was to just drink a bunch of water then so be it! That’s a bunch of water more than someone not trying would have had!

Hopefully today I’ll to better – I was out of bed today 4 hours earlier than I was yesterday, and also started writing this blog post around 4 hours earlier.

Here’s to hoping that the day brings lots of enjoyment, excitement, productivity, fun, happiness and health.

Storm

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After Day 2 Of Working On Me

Hey guys!

Yesterday I did 10 things that I feel kept me moving forward in terms of self development.

Again, please don’t judge me guys! I know that for some of you, some of these things are super basic but please understand that for some people, like me, these things are BIG achievements and are steps toward us becoming us at our best.

 

 


 

1.) Again, I weighed myself first thing in the morning. This is a step toward staying disciplined and having some sort of a routine, and is also a step toward caring about my health.

2.) I thoroughly washed our my kitten Kepler’s food bowl and gave him a nice meal, and also gave him lots of dry food and his cat treats. This was a step toward being more compassionate and putting others before myself (this was the second thing I did in my day) which can be really hard to do when you’re so absorbed in your own bad mental health.

3.) I drank one of my 600ml bottles of water! Sticking to this routine is another step toward improving my self-discipline and having any sort of routine is very healthy for us fours.

4.) I had a mahoosive, delicious plate of heated up leftover spaghetti bolognese for breakfast. Now I know that for some of you, you’ll be like, how is that an achievement though? Isn’t that a BAD thing? Again, for people with crap mental health, just HAVING breakfast routinely is an achievement – let alone a nutritious, tasty breakfast that they heated up and ate hot.

5.) I cut my fringe! I’m super excited and happy about this one. All throughout the day I found myself getting very, very angry at constantly having hair in my face, so I thought “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!” I pulled all my hair back into a nice high ponytail to be sure that I wouldn’t cut any of my long hair that I’m trying to grow, and then I sort of put my hand on my hair and pushed forward toward my face, to get all of that irritating loose hair in my face so I could clearly see what I was dealing with. Once I thoroughly did that, I put any longer hair that I wanted to grow out of the way and behind my ears, and then separated the section which I knew I actually wanted to be part of my fringe. I got myself a good mirror and just started cutting away. I just cut it until it was pretty short honestly, but still sort of long… I can’t explain but you’ll be able to see in the picture. I’m SO happy about this!

6.) I got myself ready to go out and went into Uni. A super big deal for me, this one was really difficult!

7.) At Uni I went to a wearable electronics optional workshop, wear I made a little circuit with 3 LED’s that respond to vibration! My idea was to put the circuit in some sort of chunky bracelet or wristband, and that the LED’s would light up in response to a musician moving their wrist to play an instrument. Although I was really rushed to make the circuit, I’m proud that I made it. It was originally to have 5 LED’s but I just didn’t have the time to solder the last 2 on, and also didn’t have time to actually program the circuit to light up in any sort of sequence so it doesn’t really work as it is, but it does work, if that makes sense?

8.) I drank another bottle of water! Yay for health! Yay for routine! Yay for self-discipline!

9.) I plucked my brows. Another thing I’m really chuffed about. It had been a while since I had last plucked my brows and they are so much prettier now!

10.) I drank another bottle of water! So same as yesterday, I had 3 bottles altogether making 1.8 litres. I’m so glad that I’ve been able to keep up this little routine so far because it is really difficult for me.


 

That’s it for yesterday! I know for some of you it will be hard to see but I have achieved a lot in the past two days. I went from someone that felt disgusting, fed up of life, extremely depressed, having low self-worth and low self-esteem to someone that actually feels pretty, and feels like they deserve to be pretty and look decent enough to go out into the world, and deserve to have their health cared for… I feel much less depressed already although I still have a super long way to go to climb up the levels of self-development that four’s on the Enneagram have.

Tomorrow I will update you all on what I achieved today. I don’t expect much though because it is already 13:11 and I haven’t done anything yet! I will do my best though 🙂

Storm

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Blossoming As A Type 4.

Hey guys!

So, I recently discovered that using Enneagram typology, I am a 4w5. I’ve already learnt a lot about this type and after learning about the different levels of healthiness of my Enneagram type, I decided to write a blog post on blossoming as a type 4 as soon as I could.

I believe I’m at level 7 on the four’s levels of development scale.

I think if I were on any level below a 7, I would basically feel much worse than I do now (although I do resonate a lot with level 8 too). In fact, I definitely feel everything written that a level 8 feels, apart from I don’t feel that I am closed off to receiving help – which I think is the biggest distinction between a level 7 and a level 8 in my opinion. In fact, I absolutely love being helped and actively ask for help often, and although sometimes it is difficult to receive it, I’m always happy and grateful once I have. Definitely not a level 9 at the moment though – I think that level is reserved for the lowest of the low points I experience in my life (such as during my foundation year at my first University…) Although, I definitely do experience the odd emotional breakdown every now and then!

I think if I were on any level above a 7, I’d definitely be a lot more expressive than I am now, although I do relate a LOT with level 5, and I think a level 5 is basically me on a good day!

A level 7 resonates with me most because it is a state where chaos leads to one disallowing themselves from basically doing anything that they enjoy, leads to anger toward oneself, leads to depression and isolation… It’s just basically a sort of reactionary state to being in a bad situation.

My bad situation? Well, I’m just not doing great at Uni and am just generally really not very happy with my life and how it’s going at all. It could be worse, but it certainly could be quite a bit better.

So, I want to blossom.

What is it to blossom?

Apparently, according to the Google search result for “define blossom”, it means to “mature or develop in a promising or healthy way.” Synonyms are develop, grow, mature, progress, evolve, burst forth, come to fruition, flourish, thrive, get on well, prosper, succeed, be successful, make headway, bloom, burgeon and go great guns… Antonyms are fade and fail.

Basically, I’m pretty bored and fed up of being a level 7. I mean, it’s okay, but there is a lot more out there for me to experience and I know that’s the person I want to be.

I know I probably seem to be taking the Enneagram too literally, or seem obsessive, or maybe it seems like I’m just using this as another procrastination tactic.

It isn’t that I’m taking the Enneagram literally, rather that it has made me feel quite validated and I definitely resonate with this typology system better than the MBTI (it took 4 tests before I got the same result twice for MBTI, and only 2 for Enneagram).

I’m not obsessive about the Enneagram itself – rather about the prospect of being happy, healthy and successful.

I’m not using this to procrastinate, this is something I need to do so that I will find being productive easier and feel less need to procrastinate altogether.

So, I’m really excited about this. I’m excited about working on me. I work on me a lot to be fair, but in a much less direct way than I intend to now do. This should be priority – type 4’s who are on the extreme end of level 9 are LIKELY to commit suicide! I mean, what’s more important than preventing that? I need to climb this development ladder and FAST.

I’m scared of shifting my focus – scared that my future will somehow fall apart, scared that it will lead to me being unproductive, scared that it won’t work, scared that it will be a waste of time, scared that it is the wrong decision, scared that this will just lead me into an even deeper depression, scared that it might go right and I might actually end up being happy through doing this… That’s the scariest thought of all! It means letting go of who I am, who I have been, and allowing myself to live the life I’ve always wanted. That’s scary when you feel like you’re not good enough to live that life.

So, to start my blossoming, I’m going to get myself some routine going. I’ve heard nothing but good things about fours having a good routine to get them stuck into the reality of daily life. I’m not going to go nuts with a routine, but I’ll just give myself the structure that I think I actually need to be happiest.

I also really need to stay on top of my studies. I NEED to stay grounded in the reality that I’ve created for myself, but without TRAPPING myself! I need to be studying, hard, and doing the work I set for myself and meeting those expectations every single day. I need to be kind to myself and give myself realistic expectations and allow myself time to just be free, but sticking to those expectations is essential to me being happy and loving myself.

I need to begin taking care of myself and making me feel good about myself. I need to take my long Lush baths, do my hair and makeup, use my perfumes, take care in what clothes and jewellery I wear, taking photos of myself and being proud of who I am and of how I represent myself with how I look.

I NEED TO BE FEARLESS AND MAKE TIME TO DO THE THINGS THAT I ENJOY! I need to allow myself to READ my books, to write my blog posts, to edit my photos, to paint my pictures, to learn my instruments, to sing my songs, TO CREATE. I NEED TO MAKE TIME EVERYDAY TO BE CREATIVE! How else am I going to express myself? I NEED THIS. I think this will absolutely bring me the most joy in my life. I need this so, so much.

I’m going to leave it there, because I think that amount of focus is the right amount to allow me to thrive.

This is, of course, before the fact – so I will do my best to update ya’ll on my progress at a later time to say how it’s all going.

Thanks for reading,

Storm

 

 

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My Enneagram Type

Hey guys!

So, my older sister has been interested in the Enneagram recently, so I’ve decided to try taking some tests to see what my Enneagram type is at the present.

I have taken personality typing tests before – but the only up-to-date result I have is that I am an INFP from the MBTI personality testing system.

So, here it goes!

I begin by searching “Enneagram test” into google.co.uk…

I click on the first result to take my first Enneagram test! I answer any and all questions as honestly and PRESENTLY as I possibly can. What I mean by this is that I answer the questions as though the scenario in question was just about to occur in a moment, rather than depending on memories of experiences to answer the questions. This gives a result that is accurate and applicable to who I am today, versus a result based on either my image of who I am or on who I have been in the past 🙂

The first google result is eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test.

It contains two online Enneagram tests, so I will take both 🙂

Okay, so after taking the first test, the results believe me to be a type 4 – more specifically a 4w5.

The second test believes me to be a type 4 too, also with a 4w5 wing, of the self-preservation variant.

Considering that both tests use completely different methods (the first had a page of 9 questions, each representing an Enneagram type, with 3 possible answers (yes, no or partly) for each – there were 14 pages altogether and after a while the questions would lessen as some types would be eliminated (by the 14th page I had only 5 questions per page left) and the second had 50-something pairs of statements, which a scale of 7 options to which you rate the pair of statements), I think it is safe to say that my result for the Enneagram is fairly conclusively a 4w5. I think it would be very unlikely for anything but this result to be true given the amount of possibilities that were available to me for both tests, and getting the exact same result using two different systems.

So, that’s it! I’m a 4w5. An INFP 4w5. Awesome.

It’s always fun to gather more information about yourself 🙂

I will do more personality typing tests so that I have more results besides simply the INFP result and the 4w5 result. I’ll also get my partner to do the second test to see how similar a result he gets to me (we both got INFP-T on the MBTI test, so I’m very curious to see what he gets for this test!) I honestly don’t do tests like these often though because they take me a very long time to do and take a lot of energy and concentration out of me, so it isn’t likely that I’ll do any more tests very very soon. For now I’m pretty content with the personality typing results that I do have.

Below is a mosaic of images from my test taking, followed by the two images of my results 🙂

20190317_15141120190317_153902

 
– Storm