So, put as simply as possible, I am leaving University.
Don’t get me wrong – I still love the University, the course and the area Brighton itself. Despite all of this, being at University has been pretty bad for me.
I don’t feel as though I had enough background knowledge of Physics to succeed on the course for one thing. My anxiety levels were also only increasing with time, to the point where I would honestly describe it as very disabling. My attendance and submission rates became low, I began having to leave in the middle of classes and studying became very difficult to do. There were other problems too, suffice it to say that I was having a fairly bad time at university.
Fairly recently I realised that some things are more important than playing ‘catch up’ and passing the foundation year, and so I left.
I’m going to allow myself more time to study physics before entering university, by going back to college to study A levels this year. I don’t want to be pushing myself to barely pass each year of university – I want to enjoy studying Physics and to be amazing at it, and to do that I require more time to become confident with the basics first.
It may take more time, but I think sometimes you have to take a step back in order to take two steps forward.
I am happy and excited about this decision, and I feel like I have grown as a person to have been able to make it – even if others don’t quite understand. It definitely feels like a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders – I was even calm enough to let myself play a computer game for the first time in over a year today!